I’m back to recap “Joseline’s Cabaret Las Vegas” and once again let me remind all of the Joseline Hernandez fans, if you are watching “Joseline’s Cabaret Las Vegas” you are in luck because I am recapping each episode this season but if you haven’t started watching episode five yet, click off because this is the recap and it is full of spoilers. Now that we have gotten that out of the way, let’s get to the recap of episode five. Ready? Let’s get started…….
Episode Five: “1 vs 4”
The episode starts where it left off last week. Joseline is with the five winner of the competition about to toast to their win but in the back of the club, K.Kapri and Ms. Wet Wet are fighting…whew!
Ms. Wet Wet’s breasts are exposed, as usual, as she screams, “Cause you mad!” over and over again. Ms. Wet Wet does not have on her wig, this is a mess. Raven pulls Ms. Wet Wet’s wig off the floor and puts it on. For some reason, Blkdiamond hits Ms. Wet Wet, so they start fighting.
K.Kapri runs up with Raven, so now there are now four women fighting Ms. Wet Wet. I just have a question for the girls…..
Don’t yawl get tired of jumping people? Because I get tired of the fighting, especially the jumping! But back to this trifling recap…
Security rushes in to get the ladies separated again, but Ms. Wet Wet and Blackdiamond are entangled by the couches. Ms. Wet Wet’s top is askew, half on and twisted over one breast, and Raven is adjusting her outfit, because her breasts are now exposed.
I bet the camera men, production and security is loving this. It’s a whole strip show…minus the dancing of course!
K.Kapri rips Ms. Wet Wet’s wig off Raven’s head and starts pulling at it to destroy it. Security has Ms. Wet Wet behind the bar and she is screaming that she is not going anywhere, but Raven keeps telling her she is out….out of what the cabaret, or the house? Because if she has to go, then all of you all that were fighting should have to go, it’s only fair.
K.Kapri is telling Joseline she knows that she lost the competition and that’s not what upset her it was the fact that Ms. Wet Wet keeps running her mouth. While K.Kapri is over there pleading her case to Joseline, Ms. Wet Wet is still behind the bar riled up. She picks up a bottle to throw it but our favorite security guard, The Guardian of Zeus, stops her. Zeus you should give him a raise!
K.Kapri makes it behind the bar and she and Ms. Wet Wet are trying to get at each other but, The Guardian of Zeus is in the way. K.Kapri goes and gets a water bottle and throws water on Ms. Wet Wet. In response, Ms. Wet Wet throws a can of Red Bull and it cuts K.Kapri’s face. Now K.Kapri is really trying to get behind the bar to fight, but our trusty security guard, The Guardian of Zeus, is preventing her.
She eventually makes it past security, but when she runs up, Ms. Wet Wet has a bottle in her hand. She drops the bottle when they start fighting. K.Kapri tries to pick up a bottle, and security tackles her to the floor.
Joseline climbs on to the bar and is on her knees trying to reason with them saying, “That’s it”. But nope, it aint over, just keep reading!
K.Kapri is now sitting on the floor of the bar surrounded by security, screaming at Ms. Wet Wet. Ms. Wet Wet is being blocked by security from advancing towards her so she goes and gets on the bar and twerks instead.
K.Kapri is now in front of the bar screaming that Ms. Wet Wet is not sleeping in the house tonight. Now Ms. Wet Wet stands on the bar and starts twerking and shaking her little booty antagonizing K.Kapri who vows to beat her ass every day. She even tells her she is going to put her d*** down her throat so deep that Ms. Wet Wet is going to choke on it and die.
Okay. K.Kapri, you complain about people saying you are a man and then you make statements like this. Make it make sense, why the heck would you even say that?
She tells Ms. Wet Wet that she is going to keep beating her ass, and Ms. Wet Wet shakes her tits in response saying, “Yaaaaassss!”
This is nuts.
First of all, for K. Kapri to be a zillion feet tall, and Ms. Wet Wet not to be a fighter, she did not beat her ass in my opinion. It actually surprised me that Ms. Wet Wet was actually holding her own with all the fights she has been having on this episode and seeing how Amber molly whopped her when they fought. I expected K.Kapri to handle her, but honestly, it may be editing, but it seems like she was the one being handled!
K.Kapri is screaming like a mad woman because she wants security to move out of the way so she can fight Ms. Wet Wet who is shaking her hard tits, you know how she is! Joseline goes over to K.Kapri and calmly tells her that’s enough. But it isn’t, keep reading!
K.Kapri shows Joseline the cut on her face and says she is going to beat Ms. Wet Wet every day. But now Ms. Wet Wet is in the hallway shaking her little booty and of course screaming, “Yaaaaaaassss!”
Joseline asks production for some ice to put on K.Kapri’s face. And now Ms. Wet Wet is on her knees twerking up a storm while K.Kapri is pleading her case to Joseline she tells Joseline to send Ms. Wet Wet home because she don’t deserve to be there.
Oh but you do ma’am? All this started because of you so if Ms. Wet Wet has to go, so should you, foh.
All of a sudden, Raven sprints past security and makes it to the hallway and she and Ms. Wet Wet start fighting and guess what? Ms. Wet Wet handles her too! Blckdiamond is trying to get past security but she can’t. So Raven ends up thrown to the floor, looking stupid because she didn’t have the help of her friend…that’s what you get Raven.
K.Kapri is now in the dressing room, venting and putting on street clothes because her cabaret outfit is ripped to shreds.
Joseline is talking to Balistic Beats, telling him she has no idea what happened. And now Ms. Wet Wet is on the stage, swinging on the pole as if she didn’t just fight a bunch of times, wigless of course!
This is insane.
Joseline tells Balistic she did not expect for all of this to happen but she thanks him for playing the music for the competition. They look over and Raven has on Ms. Wet Wet’s wig entertaining the girls with an impression of Nicki Minaj. He tells Joseline sarcastically that the girls she picked are amazing…
K.Kapri is still in the back screaming that she won the fight. Well we have eyes…who thinks she won? Leave a comment.
K.Kapri goes back to where everybody is now that she has some clothes on, and Ms. Wet Wet continues to antagonize her. And here is the thing, as I stated in a previous post, Ms. Wet Wet should not be able to get K.Kapri so hot and bothered.
And truthfully, K.Kapri started all of this despite also telling us in a previous episode that she’s not there to fight and would only do so in defense of herself. Well I call bull, because K.Kapri is trying to pee on our legs and call it rain. And what takes the cake, if you keep reading, she is about to actually try to justify her actions and play victim!
I feel sorry for the winners. Here they are all set to toast with Joseline, but have to sit there while violence erupts. It totally took away from their win, for sure. But they seem entertained, not pissed.
When Ms. Wet Wet calls K.Kapri a man, K.Kapri starts screaming unintelligibly. I had to turn my t.v down because I could not really understand her, because she was yelling so loud, whew! She says again she whooped Ms. Wet Wet, and when she disagrees, K.Kapri sprints past security to try to attack Ms. Wet Wet but security grabs her and refuses to let her go.
Security gets Ms. Wet Wet out of the stage area to another area completely…
We see Blckdiamond complaining about her arm hurting and it might actually be broke. Well that’s what she gets for jumping Ms. Wet Wet for absolutely no reason. I don’t feel sorry for her at all because she could have avoided that by not getting involved. I’m sorry but she deserves to have a broken arm if it is broke. She keeps jumping girls and I don’t roll like that. I don’t like bullies so Blckdiamond guess what? We don’t care ma’am. Just carry yo ass to the hospital in silence. But for some reason this ding bat doesn’t want to go.
Joseline is telling Blckdiamond she has to go to the hospital and get her arm checked out. Duh! Why wouldn’t you want to get medical attention for your arm, lady? You know what? Never mind don’t even answer that. Sigh, I said we don’t care. Put your arm in a sling and be on mute. All the bullies can just hush…
Joseline and Balistic go back to Ms. Wet Wet who of course has Paris and London out…Joseline asks her why the girls tried to jump her. Ms. Wet Wet says K.Kapri threw water on her but she was only clapping for Amber because she was a winner. She says K.Kapri was mad because she wasn’t a winner…
Who agrees with Ms. Wet Wet, that K.Kapri is just a hater?
Well K.Kapri overhears the conversation and starts back up with the screaming and yelling at Ms. Wet Wet, over talking her as she tries to speak to Joseline. Yawl, my head hurts.
Joseline tells Ms. Wet Wet that Blckdiamond’s arm is broke, and she doesn’t care. She bends over and twerks to that news.
Joseline reminds Ms. Wet Wet that all of them are going back to the house together and she doesn’t doesn’t want no more problems out of her, because the fact that someone’s arm is broken is serious. She tells her to go put on some clothes and get her stuff so they can leave.
This is when the episode got hella strange…
Ms. Wet Wet goes to a dressing room to get dressed out of her cabaret gear. Guess who is hiding under the desk with her Bible?
I kid you not. She says her mother used to get beat, and all of the fighting scared her so she is under the desk praying like a real weirdo…Well Ms. Wet Wet tells her the cabaret is not for Gaia if she gotta hide under desks.
Gaia Love comes from under the desk and offers to give Ms. Wet Wet a spiritual gift. In the name of Jesus, Gaia starts trying to cast the demon out of a belligerent Ms. Wet Wet.
Well Ms. Wet Wet starts calling Gaia a b***h, and doesn’t want her spiritual gift. Well Gaia is determined to get the demon out of her anyway. Gaia is screaming, “out! out!” at Ms. Wet Wet with her Bible in front of her like a shield.
I was howling so loud, I bet the neighbors could hear me. This show is hilarious!
Gaia tries to lay hands on Ms. Wet Wet’s forehead to cast out the demon and Ms. Wet Wet swats her hand away. She tells her to go cast the demon out of K.Kapri and leave her alone…..WRONG ANSWER!
They start to tussle. Gaia goes into her wrestling stance and body slams Ms. Wet Wet to the ground. She pins her down and starts screaming at the demon to come out of Ms. Wet Wet. I was rolling on the bed crying laughing. Security separates them, and a pissed off Ms. Wet Wet tries to get at Gaia who is calmly standing against the wall clutching her Bible like a scared rabbit instructing security to get Ms. Ms. Wet out.
Ms. Wet Wet tries to throw a trash can, but security stops her. Gaia wags her finger at her and tells her that is domestic violence. Ms. Wet Wet is doing her best to get to her, but security is stopping her. Do you know what Gaia has the nerve to say to security? That if they allow Ms. Wet Wet to hit her she is going to sue them and if she gets hit she is calling the police…
Ms. Wet Wet is better than me. I’m not no fighter, but everything within arms reach would have been slung at Gaia. I would have had to be drug out of her vicinity, asap. I would have gone absolutely crazy, because blood was leaking out of Ms. Wet Wet’s mouth and that is ridiculous. So, rightfully so, Ms. Wet Wet was restrained and drug away, preventing her from getting any get back.
Because Gaia is a punk ass cop caller. Eff you Gaia, get yo ass out of the house asap.
You are a crazy ass lunatic and you have the audacity to be a punk! How dare you hide in the cut, attack this woman, and then hide behind security like a coward? For absolutely no reason, too. You would have had to call the police on me because if I couldn’t get to Gaia, I would have torn the place up. Real talk. Gaia you are Satan so you know what? I’m sick of looking at you…
GET OUT SATAN!!!!
When asked why she did any of this, Gaia lies and says Ms. Wet Wet tried to fight her. She says so she pinned her. She insists Ms. Wet Wet had a demon in her so she cast it out. She tells production, “Now it’s out”…
No ma’am, Ms. Wet Wet is with security going absolutely crazy….the demon is definitely still there…
While security is out of the room restraining Ms. Wet Wet, Gaia is telling production that she beat the demon. She says that demon has been bothering her since she was three years old. She says she is finally big enough to take the demon down. She wasn’t big enough when she was three but she is big enough now…
When they show Ms. Wet Wet again, screaming and trying to get loose to go back and fight Gaia, her mouth is all bloody. Damm, what did Ms. Wet Wet do to deserve all this?
When they switch back to Ms. Holy Gaia Love she is telling production that she has performed an exorcism before on her ex-boyfriend and it worked. She tells us that this boyfriend also had a big d**k. What kind of Christian woman talks like that, Gaia? Gaia starts praying for the strip club and Ms. Wet Wet…. Giiiiirl, Shut up and get out! She comes where Ms. Wet Wet is being restrained and asks to pray for her…
I can’t. Zeus yawl going straight to hell with these shenanigans, ha!
Since she refused, Gaia goes back into the other room with her Bible to pray for Ms. Wet Wet in secret, while Ms. Wet Wet calls her all types of expletives, he he!
Joseline comes out and finds out that Ms. Wet Wet was attacked for no reason which is verified by security guard, Bigg Chris. Joseline is shocked seeing how she just went to the bathroom and all this happened. She asks Gaia and she lies and says Ms. Wet Wet tried to fight her. Well Ms. Wet Wet wants to fight again. Gaia says she already won “the match” so she doesn’t want to fight again.
Joseline gives them the offer to fight again. So they square up and guess what? Gaia drops down into her wrestling stance and drops Ms. Wet Wet again.
Sigh. Get the eff out Gaia, I’m sick of you.
Joseline tells Gaia to take her Bible, put on her clothes and go to the hotel. Before she goes Joseline warns her that she can’t fight anyone anymore. Balistic tells her “no more wrestling, you can’t wrestle all the girls. This is not a wrestling competition, it’s the cabaret.”
Gaia leaves and she says for good…tootles because you are a weak biah, so step!
Ms. Wet Wet sits with production and is telling them the difficulties she had in her life. Well I’m sure all of the girls have had it rough, and that’s why you would think they would reach for more positive experiences, right? It can’t be healthy to be in this environment, with the name calling, arguing and fighting.
Ms. Wet Wet say she stays smiling even though she has a bad history and she is happy for all the five girls who did win because she aint no hater….good for you Ms. Wet Wet, I think I’m starting to like you. Especially when you said you from the Bay Area, because as you all know I’m from Cali…The West Coast is the best coast, ya dig!
But any who…
And the b.s. continues…
All of the girls are around when Joseline is leaving so she decides to speak to them all. She reminds them that she was about to toast to the winners but that will have to take place later. She ask K.Kapri if she is okay. She says she is not done with Ms. Wet Wet. Lets just be real for a second. K.Kapri purposely ruined the toast because like Ms. Wet Wet said earlier, she was mad because she wasn’t picked. And rather than sit down and support the winners she decided to hate…I could be wrong, but that’s really how I see it, because in her confessional she states she don’t give an eff that she ruined the toast…seems like a hater to me!
Joseline reminds the girls what all took place…and informs them that Ms. Wet Wet was sneak attacked by Gaia. The girls are surprised, but K.Kapri is determined to let us all know she doesn’t care.
Joseline doesn’t mind the hair pulling but these crazies have taken it to a whole nother level. K.Kapri is still mad about her face. She says she threw water and Ms. Wet Wet was somehow wrong for throwing the can in retaliation….
Shut up K.Kapri. She did it. So what. If you had of gotten the best of her this wouldn’t even been an issue. So let that be a lesson to women that act like weak ass punks. Don’t throw things and not expect to get something thrown back. Aint no rules to street fights…so boo hoo. I don’t feel bad for you having to walk around with a reminder that you tried to punk the wrong one. Oh flipping well!
Ms. Wet Wet says in her confessional K.Kapri is walking around like Nelly with a band aid under her eye…
Good one Ms. Wet Wet, lol.
K.Kapri wants Ms. Wet Wet to go…well you should go too, foh! She calls Ms. Wet Wet scary for throwing the can…well you a coward for throwing the water so there! She claims she is going to drag Ms. Wet Wet everyday….shut up! You had your chance to drag her tonight and got handled so shhhhhhhhhh!
I’m sick of K.Kapri and all her attention seeking and bullying, I just want her to hush it on up dang!
How does the episode end?
Ms. Wet Wet is going to a hotel, Blckdiamond is going to hospital and the remaining girls go home.
So we can’t wait for next week, can we? Thank you so much to whoever is rocking with me still as this show starts to heat up! See yawl next episode, muah!
What are your thoughts?
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