I’m back to recap “Joseline’s Cabaret Las Vegas” and once again let me remind all of the Joseline Hernandez fans, if you are watching “Joseline’s Cabaret Las Vegas” you are in luck because I am recapping each episode this season but if you haven’t started watching episode four yet, click off because this is the recap and it is full of spoilers. Now that we have gotten that out of the way, let’s get to the recap of episode four. Ready? Let’s get started…….
Episode Four: “I Chose You”
The episode starts where it left off last week. Gaia returns surrounded by security…
Joseline wants Gaia to talk to all the women but they literally look pissed when they see her…
Gaia Love tells the girls she just wants to talk. Amber instantly begins instigating and tells Lexi Blow to do all the things to Gaia she said she would do. Lexi doesn’t budge, and I think it’s because Lexi Blow is not a fighter and she for sure aint no bully. I think that makes me like Lexi all that more. Because I’m not a fighter either and I despise bullies. The underdog in me will always want to side with the oppressed. As much as Gaia gets on everybody’s nerves I still would like to see her dance and I’m tired of seeing her get jumped.
Shoot, I would like to see anybody dance at this point! We are on episode 4 and have yet to see anyone do a two step let alone a dance routine. This is a dance competition, remember? Well I done forgot with all the b.s.
Joseline tells the hostile girls that they need to give Gaia a chance to talk, but when Joseline goes to touch her shoulder, Gaia jumps. Joseline tells her that she was not going to hit her, but remember this girl has been getting attacked so do you blame her for being jumpy?
Joseline tells them to give Gaia a chance to say her peace because if it were them they would want Joseline to give them another opportunity as well.
Well Gaia is better than me, because after I got my behind whooped, my clothes ruined and my religion mocked? Me and my witchcraft Bible would be on the first thing headed out of there! No ma’am, I would not be sticking around for yet another beat down, but Gaia seems to like getting the crap beat out of her.
She tells the girls that she loves them so much…well this is getting off to a good start. But then Gaia takes it left and says the girls were talking mess about Joseline but beat her up because they was scared of Joseline.
Shut up Gaia. Lol. Here I thought you was about to apologize and get back in their good graces here you go starting up the drama again…hey, do you guys think the other girls were talking mess about Joseline? Gaia is sticking to her story and something tells me somebody probably was talking mess too, time will tell.
The girls immediately deny they were talking mess too…well duh, do you expect them to admit it? Gaia gets scared when K.Kapri starts accusing her of lying. She goes and stands behind security like a scared puppy. She tells security she is not fighting K.Kapri because she is too big.
Lol.
Gaia says she wanted them to be a sister circle….well girl you came on the wrong show. Aint no sisterhood amongst this bunch, just Joseline’s own special brand of women’s empowerment and it doesn’t resemble a sister circle unless you mean circle of hell. Foh, Joseline said she is the pimp and yawl are her hoes….is this the sister circle you speak of Gaia?
Lexi Blow calls her out when she says she doesn’t want to fight. Well you sure wanted to fight her the other night, and all Lexi was trying to do was help you get your suitcase and you slammed her to the ground like she was a rag doll. Gaia lies and says Lexi came at her and she had to defend herself.
When?
Was I watching another show? Because, Gaia you clearly tackled Lexi Blow after repeatedly calling her a prostitute. Remember that? What kind of sisterhood was that?
Gaia says she is a professional wrestler who has been in training for ten years. Joseline asks for a demonstration and she shows Joseline the stance she went into before she tossed Lexi to the ground like she was on Tekken, lol.
Joseline imitates the stance…I cracked up.
Lexi wants to know why did she have the witchcraft book? Gaia says because she is a witch…
Lol.
They were like hell naw! Lexi is like don’t none of us do that type of stuff! Gaia starts giving them the evil eye and motioning her hand as if she was putting a spell on the girls…she begins chanting…Joseline falls to the floor…
Whoooooop! I promise you, I was rolling on the bed. This dang gone show is ratched and messy, and entertaining as all get out. K.Kapri jumps down and pretends to give Joseline CPR.
Hilarious!
Lollipop is like but can she dance, and the girls agree that they don’t even know if Gaia is worth all the trouble if she can’t even dance. So Gaia strips down to her bra and panties and delivers a killer performance on the pole…
Good job Gaia, you coo coo but you can dance!
The girls begrudgingly admit Gaia did okay…but in my mind she did better than okay, she really looked good when she moved. I’m just confused, because I thought strippers went bare in the bikini area and Gaia had a hairy bush coming out of her panties…strange wasn’t it? And, of course, the girls who really had nothing else harped on that.
After that K.Kapri got on the pole and did a great job as well. All you saw were legs for days as she maneuvered around that pole like a pro.
Joseline wants to know what they want to do with Gaia. They don’t want her there. Gaia looks sad as they call her names…I felt bad because you can tell she wants to be there and truthfully, she is interesting. I don’t care; she is starting to grow on me. Something tells me Gaia has a big heart, and I want to see her stay. But I’m not in the cabaret now, am I? And the girls don’t want her around except for Amber who asks Joseline to give Gaia another chance.
That was nice of you Amber.
Gaia walks off when she sees the girls are intent on having her leave…she doesn’t stay and fight for her spot, so Amber runs off to find her and ask her to stay. You know what….I know I’m going to regret saying this…Amber is hilarious. She tells Gaia that she wants some of her p***y but only after she shaves it…
Lol.
Good one, Amber.
She apologizes for throwing her stuff in the fountain but says it was because Gaia was tripping. Amber then tries to convince Gaia to stay by telling her not to let the other girls run her off, but Gaia refuses to stay, so Amber walks away. You know my motto… “Tootles to the weak biahs”.
Its one thing to have to stay in the competition alone, but here mean ass Amber is offering to be Gaia’s friend and Gaia refuses to stay. Gaia says she has PTSD, and everything is too aggressive. Amber did the right thing by leaving her outside and going back to be in the competition.
Amber comes back and tells Joseline she tried to convince her, and she really did, but Gaia is leaving. Well Joseline lets the girls know tomorrow she is picking the first four ladies that will be joining her dancing on the first night of the cabaret…
FINALLY SOME DANCING?!!
Switch…
It’s the next day Amber and Henny are in their bedroom talking and Amber reveals she has a catering business on the side. Well if she cooks like she fights, I bet her food is fire! Anybody who has tried her food feel free to comment!
So Amber who despite coming off one way, is actually low key nice. She wants to cook for all the girls and have a nice day after all of the drama that has been occurring in the house. Henny asks how Amber felt about the night before. Here they were practicing like some dancing fools, and they go to the club and clean. Amber pretty much reiterates her sentiments from the night before. She felt Lexi, and especially Chanel should have been cleaning with the rest of them.
Then they move on to Gaia, and her hairy nether regions, lol. Amber got jokes. She really is funny. They go to prepare for the dance competition Joseline has planned.
Switch…
Jordan, Blckdiamond, and K.Kapri are sitting outside smoking and relaxing and talking about the night before. They all thought they would be dancing not cleaning up a nasty club…they bring up Amber bullying Lexi and Chanel for not cleaning. Chanel comes out and joins them and finds out that she is the topic of discussion. They ask her how she feels about the night before and she says she expected backlash from the girls for not cleaning but didn’t expect it to be so extreme.
They start talking about Gaia, calling her weird….they all laugh when they remember how Joseline fell out from Gaia’s “spell”.
They felt that Gaia should have had to clean as well if she wanted to come back not just dance…
Chanel brings up that they will be dancing tonight for Joseline. She says in her confessional she doesn’t understand why she will be competing, because she already won the competition…we are confused too Chanel. They all go to get ready.
Switch…
Raven, ReRe, and Lexi Blow are practicing on the pole getting ready for the night’s competition. ReRe has some moves on the pole, real talk. In comes Lollipop to join them. Raven is impressed because she can’t work the pole. I think its dope to watch women who can pole dance. It takes a certain athleticism and skill, anybody can shake their tits and booty, but not everybody can work the pole, ya dig? Lexi tells Raven the pole is optional for the cabaret that it is just a prop.
Lexi asks the girls if they were upset that she asked them to clean and they aren’t upset. Then of course they start talking about Gaia and her hairy bush down there…AGAIN!!!!
Switch…
We see Amber, Lexi Blow, ReRe, Henny and Chanel all in the pole room practicing. In walks Joseline who is surprised more girls are not in the pole room practicing…me too.
Joseline asks what happened the night before and Chanel doesn’t know why Amber felts so strongly against Chanel. Amber doesn’t view Chanel as a leader, nor does she respect her, basically. Lexi says that Amber didn’t like the way Chanel was delegating the jobs…
Joseline shows the girls two sexy pictures of her she is hanging in the club to promote the cabaret, and she says eventually she will put similar pictures of the girls in the club as well. You can say a lot of things about Joseline, but if you don’t say she looked hot in those pictures you are just hating! Joseline doesn’t see the others but she hopes they are somewhere practicing, because according to her the opening of Joseline’s Cabaret Las Vegas is going to be fabulous.
The bus ride to the club…
They are on their way to the club to compete and Ms. Wet Wet is once again rubbing some of the girls the wrong way. You know her slogan by now don’t you? “Ms. Wet Wet, I’m never thirsty because I stay wet, wet…” Even though Amber is sitting by Ms. Wet Wet this time, she is cool. With the help of a big security guard sitting close by, lol.
K.Kapri is highly annoyed this time. She accuses one of the girls of leaking information about the show to social media. She tells the girls that whatever happens in the em effen house stays in the em effen house. So now I guess K.Kapri is in charge of the girls? Who made you cabaret captain K.Kapri? But Lexi Blow is sleeping it seems, and Chanel is on mute, at usual. She tells the girls, “I’m going to teach you bitches some respect”.
Wait, who is she talking to?
Henny says that the ladies shouldn’t be posting pictures on Instagram either because apparently the show has not aired. K.Kapri asks who is doing that. Must be Ms.Wet Wet.
Well, Ms. Wet Wet lets the van, and K.Kapri know she can post whatever she wants to post. Well why did she say that? K.Kapri lost it on her. She says if she finds out Ms. Wet Wet is posting another picture she won’t be in the house…Ms. Wet Wet keeps talking and K.Kapri stands up in the van and repeats, “You better be able to dance.” Over and over….it was stupid. I get it. She doesn’t like Ms. Wet Wet, and I KNOW IM GOING TO REGRET SAYING THIS…
All the hate Ms. Wet Wet is getting? It is making me start to like her. Why? Because she doesn’t back down, and she is harmless but gets some of these girls sooooo bothered and it’s intriguing and annoying at the same time. It’s like why do you let her bug you so much? The same things she does, all of yawl do… you all want attention, she is just shameless in how she goes about getting it, and it would be pathetic if it wasn’t so effective…is that why you mad? Ms. Wet Wet will get attention while some others fall in the background. And that’s okay for the ones who are low key, or know eventually they will get their time to shine….but some of yawl just seem to be mad that she is getting noticed and it’s dumb. She is literally not doing anything but seeking attention, so what do you all do? You give it to her.
So yes, now I like Ms. Wet Wet, because she doesn’t bully anyone, she stays in her annoying lane and I can respect that. K.Kapri, I don’t like bullies. I was thinking you was going to be my favorite….but if you are about to start bullying Ms. Wet Wet, that will all change soon…and I want to like you so bad….but something tells me you are a bully and I don’t roll like that, sorry.
Thankfully, the van pulls up and they get out…I’m sick of the dam fighting, I promise you. K.Kapri told us she will only fight to defend herself and here she is, being a bully.
Sigh.
Lexi Blow comes up with a good suggestion, rather than do all the extra threatening and what nots, why not just take Ms. Wet Wet’s phone so she cant post on social media? I swear Lexi Blow be making sense. She says they just won’t give Ms. Wet Wet her phone.
Whew!
The girls enter the club in their cabaret best, ready to show the Puerto Rican Princess what they got. Joseline tells them out of three thousand women who auditioned there are twelve ladies who made it. She knows they can dance, but for her its about how you perform for the crowd.
K.Kapri, Blckdiamond, Raven…
There are four spots. She asks who wants to go first, and a confident K.Kapri says she does. Joseline says it will be three dancing at a time. K.Kapri picks Blckdiamond and Raven to dance alongside her and they all three flop. For all of K.Kapri’s threats about Ms. Wet Wet better be able to dance, she was the one who dropped the ball and didn’t give it her best. The other two were just boring…cute but blah.
Chanel Tso, Jordan, Henny, Ms. Wet Wet
Joseline was much more impressed with the next group. I actually thought Chanel did a great job. Jordan was pretty good as well. They all get a round of applause for a good effort by all.
Lexi Blow, Lollipop, Amber, ReRe
ReRe was all over the pole! She was just twirling, Lollipop was spread out, Lexi Blow was doing her magic. I loved the energy Amber brought despite not being a pole expert, she twerked with gusto, lol. They did that!
So after all of that Joseline selected girls to dance again for her so she could pick. If she didn’t call your name you were to go sit way at the back of the club, while she continued the competition with the finalists.
Jordan, ReRe, Lollipop, Lexi Blow, Chanel Tso, Amber
The other girls have to go to the back of the club and watch, and K.Kapri despite not doing her best, has an attitude. She gives each finalist thirty seconds to dance individually. And they all do a good job in my opinion. But I could watch ReRe twirl for hours, I swear! And when they were done Joseline announces that there is another lady she would like to dance…
Gaia Love
Gaia comes in with a church dress on and some holy water. For real she really did! Wait didn’t she say she was gone?
Lord they done let Satan back in the club….
She takes off the gown, and under she has on a pink top and pink panties with her crouch unshaven yet again! And she rocks her performance, again! She even poured Holy water on herself and got completely naked. The girl can dance she is just off her dam rocker if you ask me. But, nobody asked so let’s get done with this recap shall we?
Joseline doesn’t know what to do, because she can dance but she is crazy! Joseline tells her to go wait with the other girls in the background while she deals with the finalists.
Ms.Wet Wet starts making jokes about Gaia’s unshaved vagina, while Joseline is talking with the finalists. It annoys K.Kapri and they argue. They finally shut it long enough for Joseline to announce her four that will performing on the opening of Joseline’s Cabaret Las Vegas.
So who made it? ReRe, Jordan, Lollipop, and Lexi Blow, and she made an exception for Amber. So five of the six made it, all except poor Chanel who had to go sit with the rest of the girls because she lost her spot.
Ouch!
She orders a bottle of champagne to be brought out to the five girls who won their spot to dance when the cabaret performs on opening night in Vegas.
Damm, I know Chanel was hurt because I was hurt for her. She walks to the couches where the other girls are and Ms. Wet Wet is talking and jiggling Paris and London, and it’s annoying K.Kapri…
How does the episode end?
K.Kapri throws water on Ms. Wet Wet and they start fighting…
What the?!!
So we can’t wait to catch the fall out next week, can we? Thank you so much to whoever is rocking with me still as this show starts to heat up! See yawl next episode, muah!
What are your thoughts?
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