First of all, shout to Bell Biv Devoe, for giving men some of the best advice and who knew it would be so ironic? The Instagram model can be very persuasive with her long weave, or hair sprayed curls…..the false lashes, false body and more importantly the false personality.
If you are a woman and you have become offended by the latest trend of women running to get their bodies augmented only to swear those of us with natural bodies are so jealous.
Of what sis?
All women are beautiful when they focus on the things that make them beautiful.
I recently watched a viral video where a somewhat male expert totally disrespected a woman by saying she basically wasn’t cute enough for the type of men she thought she was eligible to get. The video is disgusting so I won’t bother to mention too many details I just want to give some context to this post.
The point of this post is an argument for women to cultivate attractive personalities to give them access to quality men who aren’t “a” holes. Because let’s be honest a significant amount of women want to be more physically attractive to high value men. These men are thought to seek out “arm candy” but realistically any woman has a shot with any man who she is attracting. The key is, what are you attracting? Too many of us work on shallow things only to attract shallow men.
Let me tell you a story…..
I was sitting one day conversing with the inner circle of a group of women. One of the women had been in a very long relationship with a man who was recently married to a woman he knew for a little over a year. The significant point is despite the previous woman being with him for years and having children with him he chose this new woman to marry. So, we all asked the usually “mind your own business” questions. “How does she look” definitely was one of them. She insisted the new prospective wife was ugly. For about two years I heard the same thing through the circle we all belonged to.
And then one day I was introduced to her. I sat critically studying her and when I saw her appearance I was confused. I didn’t see this ugly woman that I expected her to be. Was she pretty? Maybe not physically she is what most people would say is average attractiveness. I left her home seeing her as beautiful.
The more I watched her smile pleasantly whenever someone spoke to her. She welcomed me into her home and despite just meeting me, she treated me warmly right from the start. Now let me describe the woman he didn’t marry.
The first time I was introduced to her, she barely spoke. I came to her house with a friend. Her boyfriend let us in and all of us were sitting on the couch conversing when she walked into the house. It went like this. She hit us with the quick, hey and went into the bedroom as if she did not have company. Her boyfriend went into the room and then came back looking embarrassed. “She is tired so she is laying down.” It was the rudeness for me. I saw her after that in our social circle after events. She would always have to be reminded where she knew me from. “You know her. Remember she was at so and so’s birthday party?” Crickets.
And she had a bad case of the stank face, meaning, she was always frowning. So go ahead and ask me that “mind your own business” question. How does she look?
Drop dead gorgeous but her attitude? Trash.
She had the luxury of staying home because her boyfriend made great money and he wanted her to be a housewife and rear their two children until school age. He was proud of that too. He never bragged about it but she did. He has a laid back humbleness about him. She never did it in front of him, just behind his back.
She always dropped her kids off with her mother and picked them up right before he came home. She was obsessed with labels and bragged about her “real Gucci”. She came to functions and barely spoke while he worked room. And of course, she would be giving stank face. She was a snob. When you experienced her you would wonder how such a catch ended up with this demon.
They met in junior high. She was popular because of her looks and the ways she dressed. He had a secret crush on her. They crossed paths again in high school and he struck up a random conversation. He asked her if she remembered him and she said no. He asked her on a date, and the rest was history. His nose was wide open. The girl he pined away for, was giving him the time of day.
Even at that young age he worked and was responsible. But he was also a mama’s boy. And his mother hated how smitten he was over his girlfriend. She watched him work like a new slave on the plantation for low wages. He would always take out his girlfriend and buy her gifts. He also would take his mother out and buy her gifts. His mother competed with his girlfriend but secretly. His mother was a overbearing monster that he fed. She was always running of his girlfriends cause the bull**** was too much without him checking his mama.
They both were worthy opponents. Back to the character of the woman he would not marry…..
Over the course of two decades they were in a relationship not matter how hard she pushed him he wouldn’t marry her.
“But you said you wanted to be married.”
Yeah but I want to be established first.
“But we have a baby?”
Yeah but marriage is a big step I don’t know if I could be a good husband as I am a good father.
“But we have two kids.”
All the more reason for me to make sure I’m stable.
“But we are sinning against the word of God.”
God wouldn’t want me to take on a wife I can’t support.
You get the point. She would act out too, especially concerning his mom. His family and friends couldn’t stand her. Over the years the shenanigans got old. One day they were arguing and she was so blunt and disrespectful to him as a man he packed up and left and assured her he would always support his kids.
He met the new woman at the company where he had worked his way up to an high paying position. He was attracted to her and asked her out and when they got serious she quit her job because he put a ring on it. Instead of living off his income, she started an online business.
What is the point of this story?
When a woman radiates peace, understanding, and kindness, men are drawn to her. When a woman emits discord, confusion, and meanness, men are repelled by her. Are you confused?
You attract what you are. That’s why it’s a fluke when a high quality man lowers himself to be in a relationship with a low quality woman. He will be confused by his feelings too because she is physically attractive but her energy disturbs his inner handsome.
So many young women are desperate to fit a certain standard of beauty and the ones that do usually act like they are the bee’s knees. She is hot stuff. Any man would give his right arm just for the opportunity to say she belongs him. But when a woman is filled with good qualities he is confused again especially if she is a not what other deem pretty, because her inner beauty feels so good he wants so desperately to feel her love again. And the woman that makes him feel strife he will do his best to avoid.
Did I make a strong enough argument in favor of inner beauty?
But what do I know? I’m just a bootleg sociologist who nobody will listen to so I started a blog……….
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