I’m back to recap the seventh episode of “Joseline’s Cabaret Atlanta” appearing on Zeus Network and once again let me remind all of the Joseline Hernandez fans, if you are watching “Joseline’s Cabaret Atlanta” you are in luck because I am recapping each episode this season but if you haven’t started watching the seventh episode yet, click off because this is the recap and it is full of spoilers.

Now that we have gotten that out of the way, let’s get to the recap of episode seven. Ready? Let’s get started…….

Episode Seven: “A Serious Problem”

The episode starts as it always does, right? We see what happened the previous week and we get the intro to Joseline’s song, “Live Your Best Life” and yes, we are all singing along and shimmying, “How bad you really want it” oh don’t act like I’m the only one!”

Yummy is now Cabaret Captain…..Ut oh. Lucky Hustla says at this moment “I hate the b****””, well tell us how you really feel, Lucky.

Why on earth would Joseline give away your spot?It doesn’t seem like the ladies are happy about it though, in fact some of them are downright pissed, lol. This is about to be messy…….shhhhhhhhh!

Let me tell you what happened!

So it’s the next day, right, and Lexi Blow and Sapphire are in the kitchen discussing the night before. Lexi Blow says she had to check in with the fam bam, and everybody is cool. She also got a little practice in……now remember she said that, more about that later.

But anyway……

They are all smiles while chopping it up, commiserating and giving each other props, right, and in walks Chanel Tso, and the look on Sapphire’s face, lol. She was highly annoyed. Chanel is like “What’s up” and it was like……

{Record Scratch} STRAIGHT POKER FACE……

They both frown and stop mid sentence and give her a dry, “Hi.” Lol.

FREEEEEEEZE!

She just came down to get a drink and show the girls the pictures from the Meet & Greet…..Sapphire eats her fruit and Lexi sips her cocktail. Mums the word, biah.

Sapphire is still trying to figure her out.

Well we are too, Sapphire.

Let that be a lesson to you girls that are chasing fame. Here it is episode seven and we can take or leave Chanel. For me there is nothing wrong with her but she just doesn’t stand out. It’s a shame too. She has potential but has yet to give us that star quality that makes us tune in. Chanel, what are you waiting for?

Stand out already, Miss Lady. Geez.

She shows them the pictures she took of the event on her phone. Sapphire feels like yeah the night was cool, and it was fantastic, she is owed an apology because apparently Bosstec showed out. And not just with her, with everybody. Dang, I get the feeling Bosstec has a problem with alcohol.

Well Sapphire wants to hold Bosstec accountable. She wants to have some sort of sit down, but more like an intervention, to address how out of control Bosstec’s drinking is. All three agree that it’s out of hand. Waaay more than what we saw.

Um….yeah. According to Lexi Blow:

Well what we didn’t see last episode was, on the ride home from the event, they all agree the night before, Bosstec was really trippin. She was not only tore down drunk, showing all her ass, and tits, and “kissie kissie” with everybody, she also according to them was highly combative.

The crew had stop filming, but the girls still were “on go”, according to cell phone audio, lol.

So Mz Natural was massaging Lexi Blow’s feet and Bosstec said her toe reminded her of the toe of a girl that works at a strip club in Atlanta called “Magic City” where Bosstec is employed.

So apparently this set off the demons in Bosstec who started flipping out on everybody even telling Chanel to “Shut the f*** up.” Apparently she and Sapphire also got into a heated verbal altercation all over the mention of the club that Bosstec works at…..over a really petty reason.

So basically, Bosstec can’t hold her liquor and will find any reason to turn up and turn the mutha out because she can’t hold her liquor. Now just remember this story and the fact that they all agree that Bosstec can’t hold her liquor, okay?

So now Sapphire is wondering what is Bosstec really there for? The Cabaret or possibly to promote the club “Magic City”, the way she flipped out…..

So Lexi Blow asks, Chanel Tso if she was addressing with Bosstec the way she was spoken to the night before and of course Chanel said, no.

Sigh.

She says she doesn’t know how to address it. That’s understandable. There are not a lot of women who know how to deal with charged up situations without them going to hell in a hand basket, let alone young ones. Sometimes it is best just not to address things if you don’t think you will chose peace, ya dig? But I hope this doesn’t mean you are a coward, Chanel? Why don’t you pull Bosstec to the side?

Because arguing with a drunk person is pointless and if that was the reason you kept it pushing, kudos. But I’m confused, what’s up now? So she is going to address it…I think. Lol.

Some of you drunk females might wake up with a knot by your eye because you tried your best bud’s patience….but if you are a friend of Chanel Tso you are free to scream in her face without consequence……I agree, humility is a choice.

They are getting loud so in walks Joseline, “Why are yawl so loud?”

Lol.

Joseline is in charge of the girls, in case you “hoes” forgot, ha!

What’s the problem now?!! Says the annoyed look on Joseline’s stunning face with her cute French bun. Wasn’t a good time had by all?!!! Joseline is highly annoyed. You ladies are never happy, dang!

Lol.

So Joseline is like, well its mighty funny none of the problems were brought to Bosstec…..yeah Joseline. We notice the same thing but we gonna just listen to Chanel stammer something about I think she will address the issue, possibly…girl, bye.

Don’t make Sapphire have to throw you some more doggie treats! You better just pull Bosstec to the side and say I don’t appreciate the way you was wildin off the dark liquor. But okay, let’s see what you do Chanel when the opportunity presents itself….

Joseline lets them know she too is noticing Bosstec may be there to simply promote her association with, “ Magic City” and that’s not what the Cabaret is for, Bosstec.

Joseline wants all the gossiping to stop and to take it to the source if you about that life. Sapphire says she is bout it bout it, basically.

Ladies, focus remember why you are there right? Joseline tells them to come and let’s go to rehearsal. “Let’s go big booty b****es”…..they proceed to leave the kitchen together. It’s time to get to the business of the Cabaret. They stop to twerk. Joseline is air humping Lexi Blow….this is so vulgar…yet enthralling.

Ha!

Joseline realizes she is having way too much fun and blurts out, “ My husband is going to f****** kill me”……um why is that Joseline?

Hmmmmmmm?

Lexi BLow is throwing it back on Joseline….

Lexi Blow has Joseline seductively pinned against the pantry doors, she draws in a deep whiff and says, “Do you want me to stop? You don’t want me to stop?”

Wait, what the heck is going on here? Are Joseline and Lexi Blow about to hook up?

“Why do you smell so f****** good?” she asks Joseline and Joseline blushes and starts to freak out.

Yawl I was on the bed screaming. This show is out of dam control! Well apparently she is doing too much because she insists Ballistic is going to kill her…..now why is he going to do that Joseline? Huh?

Lol.

Wasn’t we just having a conversation about Bosstec’s struggles hence the name of the dog gone episode, “A Serious Problem?” But now we are just happily twerking, flirting and apparently plotting on creeping?

This show is off the dam chain!

I can’t stop wondering what will they do next to make me shake my head at the ironic outrageousness of it all….I don’t even care if I ever go to the dam Cabaret at this point. The journey is hilarious.

Next, we see Yummy P practicing on the pole. I don’t care what nobody says; its one thing to strip it’s a whole other ball game when you introduce the pole. You see if a man took me with him to the strip club he would be mad.

Yawn!

I would be so bored eventually….except if I saw a woman working the pole. Not just working the pole, I mean, WORKING the pole. That’s stripping on a whole new level and I could watch that for hours.

And it’s a skill so guess what, not every stripper can do it. It takes athleticism too, so just because you are skinny, heffa, you still might can’t do it. So yes, I happen to like gymnastics, so a pole dancer would get my dollars, yes ma’am. I’d be excited then; it’s like sports, kind of.

In walks Mz Natural chill as ever. She is not surprised to see Yummy on the pole, none of us are. She says she is about the money so why wouldn’t she stay focused on the business that she is hoping will pay her?

Hello! The Cabaret, ladies, remember?

She is congratulating her on becoming Cabaret Captain. Well what do you know, not everybody was hating cause Mz Natural is happy. But Yummy noticed that most were upset by the decision because some were bumping their gums about it.

Mz Natural tells her not to sweat it and they then turn to the topic of the Meet & Greet while they prepare to practice the chair routine. Yummy P is proud of herself and she should be for taking another woman’s spot. It’s a big deal.

But she did feel bad because she knows it hurt Lucky to lose her spot. But she is passionate and it shows, because Lucky Hustla as we see later is in a position to just let her spot be taken.

SMH.

But anyway, back to this recap. They start to practice the routine. In walks Lucky saying Joseline’s catchphrase, “hey maids”…….Yummy P doesn’t want to deal with any drama coming her way but Lucky seems cool despite being demoted, cheery even.

What’s up with that? Lucky Hustla, hello! You lost your spot as Captain of the Cabaret! She proceeds to stretch in some type of bunny slash pajamas outfit, happily. It was just weird.

She says she is taking the whole thing as a joke and I assume she means it’s a joke that Yummy P could take her spot? She jokingly passes her position over by taping Yummy on the shoulders with a wand symbolically.

Cute.

She seems rather unbothered, calm, cool and collected. She says there can only be one Cabaret Captain, well hun did you forget? She aint you and you aint she.

Lucky, you got demoted remember? She is delusional when she proclaims her”spot”. She says she got that name in blood.

Yeah we remember you socking the mess out of Blue Face Barbie for the spot she never had, and you LOST it. So um did you check with Joseline? Seems to me she has another person in mind, and you didn’t put up much of a fuss before. I’m confused. Did she change her mind and make you Cabaret Captain? Off camera?

Lucky says she is still here to win. Well good. You may be delusional but at least you are not a quitter. Yummy P says it’s just business.

They confirm Bosstec did too much and her drinking and behavior is out of control and some suspect she may have been on more than just liquor…. this recap is getting long winded so let’s speed up the commentary…Mz Natural and Yummy P clash somewhat as they rehearse it’s more of the same ole, “Yummy P you are doing it wrong”, drama, but nothing major.

The girls pick on Yummy on the way to rehearsal in the van while they talk about of all things, fisting?

I never knew why the fascination…..when I gave birth to my first child, she was overdue. The placenta had to be removed by hand. It took three nurses to hold me down for a doctor with supposedly small hands to remove it piece by piece…..so yeah, I will pass, to each its own……

They notice Bosstec is quiet…..fast forward…..she doesn’t remember, but is being reminded……Big Lex calls her “Ned the Wino”, lol.

Good one Lex.

Why does Bosstec have a big dumb look on her face? I think she is embarrassed. I have been there. Nobody wants to be reminded of the dumb things they did when they were drunk. Well at least Chanel did bring up the issue of the disrespect. Bosstec just sits there. But surprisingly Chanel is speaking up for herself anyway…..good job youngun, don’t let nobody just be disrespectful and want to call themselves your friend too.

But keep reading Bosstec is about to clear up any misconceptions and it won’t be with an apology for Chanel Tso I can tell you that.

Oh well Chanel, you did deserve an apology so you did the right thing by bringing it up. Bosstec just isn’t ready to own up to something she probably doesn’t really remember doing or even feels is a big deal. Let it go it and if it really is that deep with you, don’t fool with her again. If she cares she will make it right eventually, no need to push the issue any further because she is acting like she could care less with that look she is giving.

She doesn’t remember any of it.

They are stretching and warming up for rehearsal…..

Side note, I liked Big Lex’s silver boots they were really shinning as she twirled on the pole…..

Joseline walks in with the CHOREOGRAPHER, see Joseline, that’s how you say it so don’t slap me for telling you, lol.

The lady’s name is, Rachel and she and Joseline were the ones who came up with the routine. Good job Rachel.

Rachel’s specialty is the pole. So Rachel is there to keep them on point. Now last time they practiced, Joseline couldn’t really see everybody and their form and everything but no worries. She and Rachel are there to critique and correct, are you all ready?

Have you been practicing the routine? Um, because despite all the b.s. you were on this show to compete for a spot on the Cabaret, remember? Yummy how do you feel about the group?

Yummy says she is a small girl so the girls try to run over her by over talking her and basically trying to “son” her despite she and Mz Natural having their formal dancing training. And speaking of Mz Natural, she was over talking Yummy when they practiced earlier, according to Yummy.

Mz Natural is pissed to be called out in front of the other girls and she didn’t recall being the only on talking because didn’t Lucky talk over you as well?

Lucky sits prettily……OOOOOOOH! I peep Lucky’s game and why she is so unbothered. Her strategy is to watch all these “friendships” dissolve while she stays focused and wins her spot back by out dancing these girls. But will it work, lol.

Yummy P, it’s on when it comes to Mz Natural…..you woke up the beast.

Let’s rehearse…….

And surprise, surprise, they do the routine with Joseline, but this time Rachel records it so she and Joseline can critique the girls. They end the routine and Sapphire immediately knows she messed up. Lucky is killing it. Well few of them look well prepared. But they pull it off.

Sapphire runs out, and comes back. She knows she messed up. She wants to do it again. They all do. Joseline reviews the phone video that Rachel took and she is livid. “Why are you all going faster than me?”

How bad do yawl want it? Let’s do it again, and stop going so fast! And it’s much better especially Sapphire who came back with the eye of the tiger! I even see Chanel Tso bobbing in the back on beat….

Bosstec is getting faded while the other girls dance? This makes no sense.

Ballistic tells them all. “ Good job ladies”……

They will do it again and Joseline will stand and watch them all. Yummy is tired she has been up early practicing consistently and helping the other girls learn the routine because of her position.

The dancing ends and Joseline calls her out for drinking at the impromptu bar instead of dancing.

So Bosstec, she asks why did you sit this out?

Yummy is tired boss, and these girls are ungrateful. But they do the routine again, anyway because Newsflash, JOSELINE IS IN CHARGE OF THE GIRLS, for real.

While everybody is dancing, Bosstec is in the back pouring herself a drink, sipping and watching the girls dance with that look on her face. Now Bosstec why the hell are you doing that?

Bosstec says she wanted to watch so she could learn the routine better, well come here Joseline says.

Bosstec proceeds to drink the drink before putting it down to rejoin the group.

This leads to a moment that I will let anyone see for themseves to get an accurate play back. Bosstec has issues with alcohol and she shares this with the women. She is a mess because of trauma. They all share their struggles because sometimes we as women all have to do a little something to get by.

Bosstec, I used to work two jobs, and go to school and I had a bunch of kids and responsibilities too. I used to drink to numb the loneliness when my husband decided to leave me broke, busted and disgusted. All I did was work and put up with disrespectful and ungrateful people in my life. ALL I did was put up with drama, go to work and drink to deal with the monotony, loneliness and despair. And my problems got worst, ya dig? Get help if you need it and if you don’t just let them say it. It’s coming from sincere place.

I wasn’t an alcoholic either, but my drinking was a problem so it didn’t matter. Every woman uses something. Some drink and some eat a whole cake…..don’t judge we all have unhealthy coping mechanisms don’t make Bosstec feel alone!

But they get it and assure her they all get it. The Cabaret really is uplifting as they go around sharing the trauma, the pain we all go through. Prostitute, saint or sinner, we all have had difficulties and we should not look at another woman and just start tearing her down as if we cannot relate to being all the way messed up and we know better but are so stuck in the pain….

How many of our girls had to tell us at some point they are there if we ever need them? And we been there so we cuss you out, cry it out, hug it out and then move on……Big Lex please don’t judge….this girl is in pain. You can relate not with your head, but with your heart. Shut up……it’s time to be still and listen.

Joseline really is doing God’s work yawl, in her own Puerto Rican princess way……but it gets serious, and they share a whole lot, but no need to relay the message….yawl go watch the show. This is good bootleg Sociology……

Yummy P I could tell you some stories…..R.I.P. To Liz Mama there will never be another like her, whew! But I’m strong so thank you, mama, but Yummy I can relate.

Now where can I end this so it will be a post and not a dam e-book, lol.

Mz Natural who may or may not be a bit tipsy, went off on Yummy for her calling her out for talking over her. She cres because she is going through a divorce, stressed AND because she thought she and Yummy were building something, and Yummy is not seeing the budding relationship the same way. Yummy P is like we just met, and Mz. Natural is like,WE ARE BEST BUDS!

Did I mention that the liquid in her cup may or may not be a strong substance that tends to make you overreact when put under pressure?

It could be some type of punch, but I suspect it’s a sort of booze because its getting emotional.

So the Aquarius in me is ready to wrap this on up!

Rather than tell Mz Natural to go sleep it off, we, the viewing audience, and the other girls, watch her start to tear up…..oh Lord, where is this going? She has been spilling her guts to Yummy who sits there stone faced.

Excuse me, Lady, Yummy P was just spilling her guts about the abuse she suffers from her mother and you wanna cry like you are the only one going through stuff? And when she doesn’t respond the way you would, you get mad!

I can’t. They all are on edge and it shows……

Prayers to Chanel Tso and your family, I lived through the storm in Texas too yawl. And I’m from Cali so you know I was buggin!

How does this episode end, because this is digressing into an emotional roller coaster……

Joseline makes Sapphire the Captain of the Cabaret……..

WTF!

So we can’t wait to see what happens next week are you all excited to see what happens next?

I am….Let’s support Joseline and show her and her show some love! Feel free to leave a comment and check me out next week for my recap of episode 8!

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References:

Joseline’s Cabaret Atlanta – Zeus (thezeusnetwork.com)