Sigh, we are back for another recap of “Baddies: ATL”, on the Zeus Network. Look at me hanging in there! We have hopes that the series will improve and if it doesn’t there is always next season, lol.

But seriously, are you are watching “Baddies: ATL” because if you are you are in luck because I am recapping each episode this season but if you haven’t started watching the second episode yet, click off because this is the recap and it is full of spoilers.

Now that we have gotten that out of the way, let’s get to the recap of episode three. Ready? Let’s get started……

Episode Three: “Sit Down or Throw Down”

So after the intro, we are back where we were last week…..

Yelling, yelling, and more yelling, oh yes it’s more of the same and my head is already starting to hurt, dang!

Tanisha has had enough so she is leaving with a drunken Christina hot on her heels to try to pull her back into the b.s. Lol.

Switch,

Sarah is back with the other ladies giving her side. Now can anybody remember why they are again sitting around arguing? If I was one of the less problematic girls, I would be putting together a puzzle; sewing a quilt, learning a second language…..anything would be more productive than this.

OMG. Sarah we know, you are a producer. Sarah please shut up.

Now that brings me back to the same ole question. Why the heck does this show have so many executive producers? Too many cooks have made this a nasty bowl of hot steaming garbage, no offense to the trash because I wouldn’t want to be offensive.

Sigh…..

Sidney tells Sarah that Tanisha doesn’t like her. We don’t care.

Sarah is complaining that Tanisha always throws up in the girls faces that she is a fan favorite…..We don’t care.

This is coming from a woman who pipes in, “But I’m an EEEEE PEEEEEE! TOOOOOO” whenever she can. And guess what? We don’t care.

Tanisha has made it to the door with her shadow, Christina. Natalie is also there too, um, I guess, maybe, confronting her?

Who knows what her motivation is but she tells Tanisha that they are going to have a conversation and beacons her to sit down.

Well Tanisha is better than me. If you think after all of the hoop da la I wouldn’t keep it pushing right on out the door, you are sorely mistaken. I mean Tanisha, you are already there at the front door just leave……now we see why she had the show put her in another house, not whatever the lame excuse she gave for being way across town instead of this big ballin ass mansion, even if it is demon possessed.

Foh.

Tanisha is waaaaaay, better than me. I would’ve “Beep, bleep!” like the Roadrunner and made like an egg and scrammed, lol.

But it’s a reality show so you already know what the deal is. They are going to have yet another sit down……

Knock it off, executive producers. All I know is I have my hand by the remote all warmed up and ready to push the fast forward button.

Tanisha wants to entertain the foolishness, and the viewing audience is all for it, all besides me.

Don’t give me that look. Haven’t we been here before? De ja vu, perhaps but I promise you, I don’t care.

Yawl got a few more minutes before I just zoom right to the end of the episode. If you think I am going to sit through another screaming match or worst, fist fight……..you can all pucker up and kiss my backside.

I got the Roku ready for you time is money you time wasting emm effas. Now what you giving? You are on the clock….

Natalie wants her and Tanisha to be on the same page so they can get the girls together. Booooooooooo!

Switch,

Sarah is back at the table with Janelle, Seven, and an instigating Sydney. What is Sarah doing? Whining and complaining, as usual. Did she mention she is a producer? Yes, I think you did, SEVERAL times now. We don’t care.

She wants the girls to split up with Tanisha and Natalie heading their own group. Hmmm it could just work……switch it up…..

It goes on and on. I’m so annoyed so let me move it along so I can go drink a tall, creamy, cold cup of “idgaf”……with a cookie as a reward for sitting through this with my dyslexia, ptsd, and the voices in my head in full swing. Mercy.

Switch,

Meanwhile back at the front door, Tanisha complains to Natalie that Sarah is doing a lot to which Natalie says Christina is doing a lot. News Flash, YOU ALL ARE DOING A LOT.

Let’s fast forward, If you miss something oh well…..Now when does the episode start to heat up? Because I’m already getting a headache and I have no B.C. powder, you feel me?

Awwww!

That’s what we want to see. Tanisha and Natalie talk and work things out. Now that’s real love, friendship and growth. And we all want to see that, ladies. And you can show the next generation that you are still BAD, just grown now.

Ya dig? Stop playing around and get this money…..this granny needs to make money off this trifflin blog, help a sista out….wait hold up….

Here I was about to copy and paste “We don’t care” so I can just coast through this recap….don’t tell me yawl are finally about to give my hum drum life a little vicarious excitement?

Tanisha giving out gifts? Well that’s more like it; let’s see what she got Natalie.

Old lady cream?

If you don’t want it Natalie send it to me. My arthritic knee will thank you. Natalie and Tanisha exchange heartfelt words and they hug it out. Nope, sniff. Yawl thought yawl had me didn’t you, but the Aquarius in me kicked in. No, not the kid, sniff.

Yes, finally! They made up, so now I hope we can get to the festivities!

They about to do a what?

Fitness Camp!!!! Go to church…….wth?

If yawl say so, we don’t care let’s just have fun!

Moving on…….

We now see Sarah creep into a room with what looks like members of production and Sidney plus a busted Judi who says her hair and makeup is not done so she does not want the cameras to follow Sarah into the room. Sarah stops at the door with Judi out of the view of the cameras.

Sidney tells us in her confessional she had been thinking of ways to get Judi out the house. Sidney tells Sarah to come on in, lol. That’s right Sidney, eff Judi. If you can stay ready, she should have been ready as much as she comes for you with her trifflin ass. Oh well so sorry for ya, suck it up buttercup you started it. Let’s just see how this goes……

Judi is not having it. She, a wide-eyed whiney Sarah, and an instigating Sidney, face off….this is getting interesting….

Judi tells the camera’s (she is still out of camera’s view,) “Nah, Nah they can’t come in here” but Sidney is like, let them in. Whooooooop! Sidney I see where you are going and I like it! Tsk, tsk, now Sidney you know you shouldn’t be starting stuff, but since you are, and its trifling ass Judi?

WE ARE ALL HERE FOR IT! Do your thang. Lol.

Judi is like” I want privacy.” Still outside of camera’s view.

Sidney is like “we in here bruh”……ha!

Judi is now ON camera saying “I’m not about to be on camera”…..

Whooooooop! Too late ma’am!

We all see your stiff, hideously pink, “Party City” wig. No offense to “Party City” but this is not Halloween, bozo. So let me get that affiliate marketing…..ijs!

“We’re in here.” Sidney taunts, and Judi weak ass gone say, “Sidney you’re going home”…..

Juuuuudiiiiiiiii!

Im’ma need you to mean it when you throw out the threats. You just sat there with your dry, monotone, flat……”Sidney, you’re going home, snore!” catchphrase. Let’s see if that catches on……

Sidney an excellent come back would have been,

”We can both go home. I’m ready to go out in a blaze of glory, are you? Since I’m going home, and you didn’t go home for spitting on me Ms. Thang…….Are you ready to go home? Girl let’s hold hands and jump TOGETHER, my sister……”

And then channel your inner Lucifer and do his bidding, without physical violence, of course. That’s how I would have done it. Let’s see what you do….

Sidney owns Judi! Her only comebacks are lame. She moans,” they will choose you over me to go home”…. Girl what? Somebody done told you wrong hmmp.

Judi we don’t like you. We like Sidney, she is annoying as hell but once she finds her stride we are rooting for her to take off. Now you, we don’t care.

Foh.

We used to, but after all these years you are still a punk and that’s not how we roll. There is no excuse for a grown woman not to know how to defend herself, this is pitiful. I would rather lie on the ground and kick in my enemy’s direction than to go out this sad, you punk you. But you brought this on yourself with the bigotry.

Judi, next time don’t let the devil use you, but back to the recap, because it’s finally getting better……

{Record Scratch}

Judi what the hell do you got on? You the only somebody I know that can make sequins look cheap.

Anyway, Sidney says she’s the transgendered diva! YAAAAAAAAAAS, BIAH, we starting to see it…..

When Judi throws a weak dart of a dig, at Sidney? She is catching the dig with her teeth and spiting it back at Judi. Hot like fire! (singing), shout out to Aaliyah, may she rest in peace. Never be another like her, but I digress…….

Sarah is trying to reason with Judi but Sidney keeps right on talking. Sarah says, “just ignore her” but Sidney will not be ignored. The devil is about to show up and show out, just keep reading…….

Sarah is ignoring Sidney who keeps right on talking to her regardless. I just love how these girls will ignore a girl and feed off each other making the antagonist feel antagonized…..

Ha!

Sarah is whining to Judi……who can’t be heard because Sidney keeps right on talking…..the words don’t matter. Variations of “who really is the man, Judi?” and a few,” you just mad, look at you, I would be too.”

Either or, take your pick! Either way she is getting Judi together although Judi puts on a poker face and tries to act unbothered but proceeds to go word for word with Sidney to our absolute delight…..

Get her Sidney.

Sarah keeps right on whining like the professional damsel in distress she is. Judi don’t know what to do! Well, you shouldn’t have let the devil use you. Maybe you should choose righteousness next time, you clueless dingbat.

Yawl, I’m sorry, I’m still mad at her for calling Sidney a man….I will let it go when I feel like it. Shut up and move on.

Something catches Sarah’s eye. Out of the blue she asks “why is there a broom in your room!” as if the thing hasn’t been there as long as Judi has been there. Duh, it arrived when she brought it in Sarah, but I did chuckle. Good one Sarah.

I can’t.

Sarah just keeps setting up the b.s. waiting for Sidney to knock it out the park. Sidney sits prettily, swinging her weave back and forth giving me my life.

“Because she is a witch”…….Sidney sits down after grinding in Judi’s direction, Judi you know you mad!

YAAAAAASSSSSS!

Sidney played her hand well. There is hope for you yet Sidney.

Well if Judi uses her voodoo to turn you into a witch, at least you will be one with long flowing locks instead of the tacky pink straw hair helmet that Judi is wearing.

Was that mean? Well Im’ma need you to toughen up. Remember? She spit on you, Im’ma need you to get her all the way together, so I don’t have to ever again? Since you already have called on Satan, no need for us both to lose our religion, carry on, Lol.

Sidney says she is team God……well let’s just see. The outcome will prove who was in you, GOOD or EVIL. Keep reading…..

They trade insults. Shut up Judi. We are not falling for the, “Sidney changes as soon as the camera’s come on” story. Now you already know they can only show what you give them, Sherlock. Sidney finally says Judi is not worth her time and struts away, “Learn how to do your make up, hoe”.

Round of applause for Sidney. You seen it was getting old and retreated to wait for your next opportunity to make Judi look stupid.

Stick with Sarah.

When she gets wide-eyed and starts whining and complaining, you be ready with the comeback to the drama she sets up. Then you nonchalantly side with her….always against Judi no matter how petty…..

You will let it go when you want to, or when it gets old, she started it and you are going to finish it, without the viewers being able to criticize you for doing anything physical or extremely emotionally damaging.

You are a woman who can’t fight with your fists…..and got to be slick with your words. You just stay ready…..now pay me back with subscribers, hon.

Get it?

I want you to make Judi leap out of her seat, then you scream and run behind something proclaiming” I’m so scared, yawl better get her before she swings on me!”

Lol.

Do it Sidney. Please do it. And this will be when you be the most dramatic and we will all shake our heads and say, “Sidney is a mess.” And we will love you for it. You will out damsel in distress Sarah and we will worship you for it. Get ya Karen on, lady.

Switch,

Christina and S[dney are in a bedroom talking. Christina doesn’t like the shenanigans taking place in the house despite being a part of it. She doesn’t like how Sidney is being treated, well neither do we. She is drunk and …..she wants to leave, Sidney convinces her to stay. We don’t care.

>>>FAST FORWARD>>>SKIP A LOT OF THE B.S. BECAUSE WE ARE TOO SMART TO FALL FOR THE OKIE DOKE, LOL >>>ZEUS IS WORTH IT FOR JOSELIN’ES CABARET ALONE BUT THIS SHOW IS STARTING TO GET BETTER SO SPREAD THE WORD AND LET’S GET THEM PAID>>>OR ARE YAWL BUMSKIES AND JEALOUS HATERS, LOL>>>OH YES HERE’S A GOOD PART>>>

Seven and Janelle are on the massive terrace of the beautiful, Baddie’s house…..they talk about the events so far. Yeah, it’s crazy. Well at least they have each other…..

>>>FAST FORWARD>>>

The devil, er um I mean, Christina walks in as they share a laugh…….

WTF? Seven and Janelle are scared of Christina.

Lol.

They bond with Christina, cute, but we don’t need to be feeling all warm and fuzzy…..WE STILL BAD…..just older, just kidding. We love it.

>>>FAST FORWARD>>>

We like Seven, Janelle and Christina before she jumps off the porch, lol.………blah, blah, do better, blah blah, you should just talk to Natalie, blah,blah, we could be having fun if you would just keep the coo coo in the clock, blah blah, we don’t care.

>>>FAST FORWARD>>>

They hug…..because Janelle is a nice person, and so is Seven….in their presence, Christina is just a regular ole lovable, Baddie. Now what else is going on?

>>>FAST FORWARD>>>

Where can I end it? Ah here’s a good part…..

Janelle and Natalie are in the kitchen sharing some laughs….Christina has agreed to talk to Natalie…..Janelle wants Tanisha and Natalie to get along so that everyone can start to get along….that’s what we want too…..but they are sometimey…….especially Christina…….blah blah….

Janelle wants Christina to have a, one on one with Natalie that is calm and whoo sah, with their hands tied behind their backs…….

Now Janelle, you already know how conversations with the Bad Girls are. What are you up to?

Hmmmmmm?

She says this time she will let Jesus fix it. Bout time! All this time some of yawl have been instruments of the Devil and it hasn’t worked out for you….so let’s switch it up and add a little Holy Spirit up in this piece, for real. Natalie agrees to talk to Christina. They sit down in the living room for the one on one.

Here goes nothing…….

They sit down to talk…..it goes left……ladies…it’s just hair and makeup, dang!

How does the episode end?

They argue, and it gets heated. They get into a scuffle……really another fight?

Whew!

This episode was a lot better. Told you to have faith the Baddies are on to something, we think!

So we can’t wait to see what happens next week are you all watching the show? I am….Let’s Feel free to leave a comment and check me out next week for my recap of episode 4!

What are your thoughts?

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References:

Baddies ATL – Zeus (thezeusnetwork.com)