The statistics on how many Americans remain faithful in romantic relationships are quite dismal. According to hernorm.com, “An issue of Marriage and Divorce journal also stated that 70% of all Americans engage in some kind of affair sometime during their marital life.” Those stats suck. That’s not good for those of us who are interested in being in committed faithful relationships. Being cheated on hurts and is a main reason why relationships will have problems. Infidelity can lead to a lack of trust and this is a major relationship killer.
Reasons vs. Excuses
There really is no valid reason to cheat on anybody. That doesn’t mean that people cannot come up with some pretty great excuses for them to be unfaithful, and I have decided to list a few good ones in this post, but I also want to say that none of these are good reasons to become unfaithful. When people want to justify cheating they will give a myriad of excuses. But there is no valid reason to cheat on someone.
A person who has integrity will be up front and honest with the person they are in a relationship with. If things are not working out an honest person will express those feelings and end the relationship before starting a new one. So cheating in my opinion is a sign of a person who might be showing signs of having a character flaw. If you are not feeling it, end it.
What are Some Excuses That People Give For Cheating?
This post is not for anyone to be targeted as being horrible people. Cheating is an awful thing to do to somebody, but many otherwise good people can make a mistake and be unfaithful. But a person who justifies cheating should not be in a committed relationship. They are causing others unnecessary pain. So if you want to be a person who engages in intimacy with more than one other person, evaluate whether committed relationships are best for you. What I do hope is to bring some understanding to the phenomenon of people justifying their decision to cheat.
Here are some of the excuses for cheating, I decided to list; feel free to leave a comment if you can think of more….
The Other Person in the Relationship Cheated First
There are times when a person finds out that the person in the relationship with them is cheating. Imagine that? Instead of ending the relationship, in retaliation some people will cheat as well. Going tit for tat in your relationships is not the best way to grow as a couple. It’s a petty and childish way to behave.
My Need or My Wants Were Not Being Met
Some people cheat because they feel their needs are not being met. For example, they may have had a full sex life in other relationships but their new partner does not perform a certain sexual act, they will cheat on their partner with someone who is willing to do the acts their partner will not do. That’s a pretty selfish approach to getting your needs met, and I’m sure there are better ways to achieve the desired results. I feel open and honest communication is a better approach. Do you agree?
I Don’t Love Them Anymore or I Don’t Feel Loved
Some people will state that a lack of love or the lack of feeling love led them to cheat on their partner. For example maybe they were hugged and kiss every night and thayt led to them feeling that their partner loved them very much. When this behavior stops this leads to them feeling that they are no longer being loved by their partner so they cheat. Another example of this is when the sex slows down in the relationship or stops; this can also lead to a partner feeling unloved and lead to cheating.
I’m Not Attracted or I Don’t Feel the Attraction from My Partner
Sometimes, especially in superficial romantic relationships, so if for instance, a partner in such a relationship happens to gain weight or get older, the attraction tends to fade and that can lead to cheating. To me that’s no way to behave in a relationship, but when it’s all about the looks, age, money or status, when these things change so does the relationship and not for the better. So if you are in a relationship where there is a deep and loving connection, the superficial things don’t matter.
There Is a Lack of Respect
When you are in a relationship with a disrespectful person cheating is to be expected. There is nothing more disrespectful than being deceitful, and that’s what cheaters d best. Cheaters often lie and use other deceptive tactics to hide or plan for their infidelities. A person, who constantly abuses your trust and deceives you, does not respect you.
When you see that the person you are putting your trust in is disrespectful to others or you, you can expect the respect will cross boundaries, and one of the boundaries that disrespectful people cross is to engage in infidelity.
Some Other Truths about Cheaters
Cheaters can be immature. Immature people often make excuses to engage in affairs and unfaithful behavior. A lot of cheaters need to just grow up and conduct themselves as adults.
Cheaters can be insecure. One of the precursors to cheating is to have low self esteem. Many people with insecurities will engage in unfaithful behavior.
If you can think of any other truths about cheater feel free to drop a comment.
But what do I know? I’m just a bootleg sociologist who nobody will listen to so I started a blog……….
What are your thoughts?
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References:
Infidelity Statistics & Trends 2021 – Who Cheats More? (mysticmag.com)
When This Woman Speaks 