I can be a busy body at times. Not necessary busy as in doing something, but busy minding other people’s business. That approach to life has never served me well so I have decided to stop the madness and focus on me. I mean it is my life, focusing on others serves no other purpose than to distract me from my issues. But not working on myself completely has left me stagnant in some areas of my life where I should have progressed further. Taking the focus off me has never made me grow. When I put the focus back on myself I see myself progressing.
As I grow older in age and in wisdom, I started to notice that people who seemed to have the happiest most fulfilled lives, minded their own business most of the time. I understand we all have a picture of some nosy old lady peeping out the curtain spying on her neighbors. The truth is most older people want to be active and healthy physically, and financially as they get on in years. Sitting in a rocking chair may have been cool a while ago, but today’s seniors are still living their lives to the fullest.
We live in a society where we do not value old age. Some older people despite having children, grand children, and other family, are lonely for quality interactions with others. There are populations of the elderly who live isolated and depressing lives. I think it is because some older people turn others off with their behaviors. I mean it really is common sense. Nobody likes a busy body and a meddler. Those types of people tend to be avoided and by the time they are elderly, and many people avoid them. They are often lonely and isolated.
Because meddlers are super judgmental and that is a turn off for many. The types of older people that others flock to are tolerant and kind. Empathy will lead to you being sought out for what you bring to the table. Here are some strategies that while they are common sense based, many people disregard the importance of a few key values. Keep reading and I will give you a few pointers that could help you improve your relationships and as you get older you will find you are keeping healthy interactions and fulfilling relationships with others.
Be More Accepting
If you want to keep relationships with a variety of people in your life you should just be open and accepting. This does not mean you are accepting of the b.s. but it just means you accept the person. Acceptance feels like love and rejection feels like hate. Everyone has a desire to be loved and accepted. Be more accepting and you will never be isolated by others. Do not accept bad behaviors, and avoid toxic people, but do not throw away relationships based on you not accepting a person for superficial reasons. Remember rejection doesn’t feel good so people will avoid the feelings of shame by avoiding a person who does not accept them. It comes from a place of superiority, because you are telling someone you are better than them and that you know what’s best for not only your life but others.
First of all a wise person knows the difference between venting, and gossiping. Gossiping is a low vibration activity that positive people do not engage in. That doesn’t mean they do not talk about the things that bother them. Some people will engage in the activity to be mean spirited and that leads people to avoiding them because they know if you will do it to others you will do it to them.
Instead of gossiping only vent when necessary, state your grievance and then move on to another topic of conversation. If someone vents to you, do not repeat the conversations. People will trust you and know that can vent to you without you running back to tell everybody and they will want to stay connected to you because of your maturity and wisdom. A fool talks recklessly, and nobody wants to be around a fool. Trust me I am foolish and reckless in some instances. Sometimes being negative becomes a habit especially when I was surrounded by negativity many years of my life. But when you know better you do better.
Stop Being Controlling
Wisdom knows you can’t control everything that is going on in your life let alone the lives of other. If you spend all your time trying to control your environment it will lead you to trying to control others. When the focus is on you there is just not enough time to focus on others.
Respect Yourself and Others
It’s disrespectful to butt into someone else’s life. You are not the authority of yourself so how could you be the authority of others? God is in control. Instead of pondering about someone else you could be, washing your car, ironing your clothes, eating a healthy snack and so on. Do you get my drift?
Be Love’s Representative, WWJD….
Everybody needs love. It feels good to be surrounded by it. The loving thing to do is mind your business, and focus on yourself so if someone does need you; you have the resources to help others. You can’t give to others what you don’t have yourself. If you have self love, you know you need time for yourself. Love yourself first. Then you have the strength to spread love and it will come back to you.
But what do I know? I’m just a bootleg sociologist who nobody will listen to so I started a blog…
What are your thoughts?
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