The Queen Bee and Her Followers, Otherwise Known as the Adult Female Narcissist and Her Flying Monkeys

Narcissistic Women are very superficial, lack empathy and secure senses of self. You may think you won’t encounter any of them as you come into adulthood but oh no, you will still have the deal with bullies even as a grown up.

Signs of a Queen Bee

Because narcissistic women need attention and validation from others the Queen Bee or QB, needs to always be the center of attention. I will give you an example,

The QB has a friend and it’s her friend’s birthday. The QB will declare it’s their birthday too just because they can’t stand not being in the spotlight. They expect to have dollar bills pinned on them. They want to be able to wear a tiara or crown announcing it’s their special day. They want strangers to do nice things for them or sing them a birthday song. But here is the catch; they do not want their friend to experience any of these things examples, so when they have to share attention that still is not enough.

When strangers wish the friend a happy birthday they will announce, “its my birthday too!” and dominate the attention.

Barely reciprocates if ever

You may start to notice you are a good friend to the QB but this does not come back to you in return. You give way more than you get, if you even did get something in return it wasn’t the same caliber and infrequent. The QB is a taken and it might take you awhile to notice because they are always acting out gratitude. It will feel insincere to you but you don’t want to believe they are not good a friend. If you even hint the QB if not a good friend to you they will try to convince you otherwise. Trust your instincts. QB are sell absorbed and you should want to be around that person unless you just want to worship them.

Competes with you

The Queen Bee has to always be the best so they will compete with their friends so they can feel validated by comparing themselves to that friend. This will happen in sneaky ways. If the friend gets a new car, they get the same model times too but upgraded.

If they like a dress their friend is going to wear at an event they will become envious. The friend may show them the dress a day before the event. They will go out and get another dress in a different color and wear it to the event and get the compliments. And to make sure this occurs, they will arrive at the event early, before their friend so everybody will notice them first. The friend may even appear to be a copy cat.

The reason for buying the exact same dress is just in case you confront them. They want to be able to deny trying to steal their friend’s spotlight. “What? This is not like your dress this dress is another color.”

Main form of entertainment is gossip and putting other down

The QB will put down people for sport. If they perceive their friends to be weak, spread lies or insult them to their face. They even bully women they admire. They do this to knock them down to their level to make themselves feel better.

Is fake in all ways

The QB is inauthentic in all ways. They will act like they like a person when the person is in their presence only to dog them out behind their friend’s back. If they can’t afford a luxury brand, they will get a “knock off.” The problem with this they get their self esteem from having things only wealthy people have or afford so they can feel special because their friends can’t afford it.

This is toxic behavior. And because a QB is so self absorbed a lot of people steer clear of them. Narcissist target people that accept their tactics, because normal people will distance themselves from the b.s. QB keep certain people as friends.

Signs of Flying Monkeys

 According to Wikipedia:

Flying monkeys is a term used in popular psychology, mainly in the context of narcissistic abuse, to describe people who act on behalf of a narcissist towards a third party, usually for an abusive purpose (e.g. a smear campaign). The phrase has also been used to refer to people who act on behalf of a psychopath, for a similar purpose.


They behave like the QB so they understand and accept the toxic behaviors because is toxic as well. And they don’t want to accept the queen bee is a narcissist. They are gullible enough to believe the QB loves and accepts them and believes what they say no matter what they will believe lies and gossip no matter what the QB says without verifying. They will judge people by the standards the QB sets.  They will blindly attack others and they side with the QB against others believing the false information the QB feeds to them. They will gang up on you based off lies. You are who you hang around. So narcissists hang together because nobody else can stand them. The flying monkeys.

If you notice toxic behavior, cut off toxic people. Do not be friends with a Queen Bee you are worth more than that. They will only subject you narcissistic abuse.

Need help with healing from narcissistic abuse? For more information on narcissistic abuse recovery I chose to add some websites that may be helpful for you to visit:

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Wikipedia contributors. “Flying monkeys (popular psychology).” Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia. Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia, 25 Sep. 2020. Web. 12 Oct. 2020.

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