The problem today is the world is getting more and more superficial. Any appeared flaw can be “corrected” with plastic surgery, and the beauty standard is becoming unattainable for the average woman.

I grew up in a family where the women were voluptuous while I was flat-chested. I used to wonder why I got skipped over when I was in line for big boobs, because I had none. I knew the culprit just had to be my mom, who shared the same fate as me. When I complained one day she had the best response ever, “Nobody ever kicked me out of bed” and my step dad agreed. She played up her best asset, confidence.

The older I got the less I worried about that. Men find me attractive, and I have confidence and self esteem. Nobody in a relationship ever told me change anything because I only got into relationships with men who found me attractive. But I would be lying if every once in awhile I didn’t make comments about my lack of big cleavage.

One day I put on a shirt and commented on how it would look better if I had more to put in it. My boyfriend looked perplexed. “What are you talking about? You look fine to me”. And that’s what is important. If you are with a guy who criticizes your appearance, then that is not the right person for you. The right person for you will love everything about you.

So when Kyle Quiero opened up his mouth, or used his computer, to criticize Jill Scott’s looks he expected to be validated. I bet it was a shock to his nervous system when he was drug across Social Media. Nobody agreed, except men who praise the unhealthy beauty standard that is in place at the moment.

And what pray tell is the dominant standard of beauty, women with big boobs, tiny waist and big butts. Now don’t get me wrong there are some women who have this body type naturally or can exercise to get this body type. But the average woman won’t have this body without cosmetic surgery. So the rest of us are stuck with our natural bodies and are told we are not attractive.

But ladies, the most attractive thing about you is your inner beauty, your kindness, your intelligence your humor. Do you see Jill Scott? Her smile captivates, her eyes, her curves, her talent….the woman is banging! So men who love these things about women will be drawn to her.

Resting on Pretty

Growing up pretty, you are constantly complimented. But it’s usually for your looks. I have another story for you about me. I used to always be with my cousin as a teen. She was always being complimented and all the boys wanted her.

One day we went to meet two guys we had been talking to on the phone. Now don’t get me wrong I am attractive, but as soon as they saw her, they both wanted her. I was used to this so I didn’t get jealous or salty about it. We all went to the park to talk. Eventually both of them ended up talking to me, playing around with me and having a good time with me. She sat there frozen. They just assumed she was stuck up because she was so pretty. But she wasn’t. She just didn’t have an outgoing personality because she never had to stand out in a crowd; she always just rested on being pretty.

And you will find some pretty women are superficial and shallow. You talk to them and there is no depth. Men that flock to them get frustrated because there is no intelligent conversations just shallow ones.

Pretty vs. Beauty

Beauty never fades. There are some pretty women who attain beauty, by working on their other attributes. When you are beautiful you are well rounded and humble. How many women hate their flat butts because they are teased about it, only to get work done and then put down other women? Because they want to be pretty, not beautiful.

Jill Scott is a beautiful woman, physically and otherwise….

And you can be too. Long after your pretty has gone away your beauty as a woman will remain. Work on the inside of you and treat people with dignity and respect. Quiero did apologize for his offensive remarks, and of course Jill Scott’s response made her a class act.

“Wait…I’m was trending again??? Ok then-JUSTICE for Breonna Taylor!!! Justice for Oluwatoyin Salau!!!! Justice for Sandra Bland!!!!Loving ourselves and each other is respectful and uplifting; supportive. EYES ON THE PRIZE, LOVE VILLAGE, EYES ON THE PRIZE.” Was the response Jill Scott gave.

Ms. Scott you are truly something special!

But what do I know? I’m just a bootleg sociologist who nobody will listen to so I started a blog……….

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