Talk Softly but Carry a Big Stick: The Texas Woman’s Way of Giving Respect

Note to The Reader:

I’m not from Texas, but my maternal family is. If you never had the pleasure of being around a Texas woman, you don’t know the joy of being enveloped in love. They are some of the kindest, sweetest and most capable women I have ever met. And while I grew up in another state, I just knew if and when I ever made it to Texas I would fit right in. So imagine my surprise when I finally made it to Texas and was not able to feel the “Texas” way.

So this is my ode to my maternal family who passed on some very positive traits that have gotten me far in life. These traits may not be what you see in modern Texas women, but trust me, they are there. They may be lost or deep down inside, but yes, they are there. Want to know some of these traits passed on to me by my fabulous maternal Texas family?

 Read on…

Respect Yourself First

The women in my family for the most part are extremely respectful. They mind their manners. It is always, “Please”, “Thank You” and “May I” and “Could You”. Rather than a demand, the Texas woman requests. Respect is always given without you having to act a fool to get it, and they have no problem giving love freely. And the first person you must respect is yourself. Self respect keeps you from acting out in a way that brings distain upon yourself.

A Texas woman is not above anyone and that means she is not below anyone. Her self esteem is not in her clothing, her shoes or her vehicle she drives. Yet she sucks all the air out the room when she walks into it with her style and grace. She demands respect with her presence.

It is the reason that when you make the choice to disrespect her, you will always regret that choice. Because trust me, it can always go another way.

If All You Have Is Now? Why Not Seize the Day?

A Texas woman is not lazy. She doesn’t wait to make moves. She doesn’t ask permission to be great she just is. If she says she is going to do something? That is exactly what she is going to do. For example, if she says she is going to paint her bedroom on Monday? By Wednesday when you see her previously white bedroom walls they are a glorious shade of lavender. What takes another woman forever to do, comes easy to a Texas woman.

And she doesn’t need anyone to encourage her to do it. It comes from inside. She is competent. She is well read, well traveled and ambitious. She can work a 9 to 5 and excel at it, but if she says she wants to be a business owner? She is able to do that too.

If all she has is this moment in time? She takes it. Hard work and tenacity is flowing through her blood so she gets more done in 24 hours than anyone ever could imagine and she does it so well it seems effortless.

Never Do Something to Someone Just Because You Can

A Texas woman will always try to be kind. She is not a bully she is an advocate. If she sees someone is at a disadvantage? She points it out if she deems it necessary. She is brave when others are cowardly. If she sees you mistreating someone who is powerless it disturbs her spirit. Why? Because, she never does something to someone just because she can do it. Why would she do that?

If she has power over you, she doesn’t wield it like a baseball bat. Her approach is always smooth like butter. She has mastered the phrase, you catch more flies with honey, and she is the master at catching flies. Texas women have some of the best negotiation skills and are sought out for advice. She is so trusted because you know she is not out to get over on you.

If Someone Disrespects You, They Don’t Get a Second Chance

Because she gives respect so freely she expects to get it back and if she doesn’t get it back, that is a big problem. Not all women use physical violence and while this type of woman is not above it, especially if called out, it is not the usual way she handles things. She is way more brain than brawn. She rather freeze you out and exclude you from her life than break a fingernail clawing your eyes out.

So if you ever cross her or are caught being anything other than the loyal friend she is to you? You can expect to never deal with her again. Even if you are at the same dinner table she will politely speak to you once, and then nary utter another word in your direction. And because she brings value into your life her lack of presence will be felt. Beware, she is not a woman who gives second chances because she understands this concept, if you will do it once, you will do it again.

She Believes in Quid Pro Quo

While she doesn’t do things expecting repayment, she is big on doing favors for people without them even asking. She is a generous person, with her time, energy, money and belongings. But never take her kindness for a weakness.

If she sees that you are a user or taking advantage of her generosity? She will put a stop to it. Why? People who know their value do not allow other people to use them. She is kind but not gullible. She is sweet, but will also sweetly decline to give you something that she previously gave freely. She is a strong woman which means she is nobody’s doormat.

But if you do something for her and it touches her heart? You can expect her to return the favor. She loves to give gifts and do favors for appreciative people because she is the most appreciative of them all.

People Are Stupid And Sometimes You Gotta Beat The Stupid Out Of Them

A Texas woman is full of love and kindness but if you make the mistake of trying to abuse her? That is a mistake you will live to regret. Don’t mess with a Texas woman, her wrath is unlike any other. It will be like being transported in time to the days of the OK Corral. She does not play when it comes to her body, her family or her possessions.

The way my Texas born mother explained it to me? Sometimes it’s necessary to fight back because people will mistake your humbleness for you being some type of punk. And every real woman will not allow you to mistreat them. Sometimes the only thing you can do in certain situations is let your fists fly. But trust me a Texas woman will be ready for it to go another way. Ready is her middle name.

Why? Because sometimes people are stupid and they deserve to get the stupid beat out of them. Her words not mine. But I have been there. I have tried to get in the middle of two people about to fight and then, POW! I get a punch to the face. Getting in the way of a fight is stupid, so yeah I kinda had that one coming.

Better yet, put your hands on a Texas woman and that phrase will take on another meaning. If you make the mistake of thinking this kind, loyal, humble, respectful, beautiful woman is a punk? She will beat the stupid out of you, but trust me she rather not go there.  Self defense is the right of a person being physically attacked, so yeah you will be in for a fight.

Yeah it’s coming. In her eyes she is helping you. Obviously no one told not to mess with Texas, so she is going to give you a lesson in recognizing a rider when you see one. So take your blows to the face with style and say, “Thank you”. But if you knew like I know, you would rather let her stay the sweetheart she would rather be, ya dig?

But what do I know? I’m just a bootleg sociologist who nobody will listen to so I started a blog……….

Any thoughts?

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